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The phrase “The customer is always right” originates from a gentleman called Harry Gordon Selfridge, the American founder of Selfridges department store.
On a holiday to London with his wife, he found that British retail stores were not as good as the American equivalent. So he decided to invest around £400,000 in the building we know today as Selfridges of London. He also came up with “Give the lady what she wants”.
Nearly all of us can think of a time when we stared down the barrel of utter stupidity.
Whether on the phone, in the office or behind the counter in a store, not a day goes by when someone, somewhere is not truly staggered by the level of absolute fatuousness and ignorance that some people are capable of.
Naturally, we ourselves are †the perfect customer and have never been hit with the stupid stick – have we?!
Here’s a small collection of some of the funniest and most stupid customer questions from around the world to get you started.
If you have any stories of your own that you’d like to share, please submit them using the Comments box below.
I’ll be updating this post from time to time so please check back here soon.
Genuine questions we have been asked in the past here at BT Office:
“Iíve just watched a really funny programme on TV and they had a lovely pink chair in it. Do you do them?”
“What is the price of four chairs please?”
“Do your Filing Cabinets accommodate files?”
(more to follow soon…inevitably!)
Customer: “I didn’t receive my bill and I’d like to know why?”
Staff: “We sent it to this address here, is that right?”
Customer: “No. I moved recently. Why didn’t you send it to my new address?”
Staff: “Did you inform us of a change of address?”
Customer: “No, but what difference does that make. You should have sent it to the right address.”
Tourist to tour official: “Are there any lakes in the Lake District?”
(yep! short and sweet but true!)
Location – Fast Food Outlet
A little old lady approaches the counter scans the menu (which consists of burgers & fries†only) and asks the following:
“I’d like a pint of milk and a loaf of bread please”
(guess she should have gone to Specsavers!)
Location – Freud Cafe bar in Oxford
When you visit Freuds, Oxford you will note that that the building is old, large and made of stone. There is an altar, stained glass windows and other religious artefacts.
Tourist walks up to the bar: “Did this place used to be a church?”
Bar staff (thinking): “No sir, it was a brothel.”
Location – Jewellers
Customer: “I’d like to buy a watch please.”
Employee: “OK, which one do you like?”
Customer: “It’s the one in the window.”
Employee: “Madam, we have hundreds of watches in the window. Could you be more specific?”
Customer: “The gold one.”
Telesales Employee: “Hi, I’m calling on behalf of xxx company, please may I…”
Customer: “Is this a recorded message?”
Telesales Employee: “No, I am not a recording, please may I speak to…”
Customer: “I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!”…(click as she hangs up.)
Employee working in a Pound Store†encountered the following customer:
Customer: “Can you tell me how much this is please?”
Employee: ” Er…one pound.”
(customer wanders off and returns a few minutes later with another product)
Customer: “And how much is this?”
Employee: “Erm…one pound?”
Customer: “Sorry for asking but you’ve got no prices on anything.”
Employee: “This is a pound store madam, everything costs one pound”
(customer wanders off again and comes back with a third item)
Customer: “What about this?”
Employee (exasperated): “It’s a pound too…everything is one pound!”
Customer: “Honestly, you can’t get the staff these days. Why don’t you label anything. It’s just sheer laziness.”
(well…what can you say to that?!)
(the clue’s in the name perhaps? )
Please share your own stories in the Comments field below.